Real Strategies For Staying on Track When Everyone Else is Indulging

The holiday season used to fill me with dread.

Not because I don't love seeing family or celebrating traditions. But because every gathering felt like navigating a minefield of social pressure, awkward conversations, and foods that would make me feel terrible afterward.

I'd either cave completely and eat everything (and feel awful), or I'd white-knuckle through the meal with a plate of plain vegetables while everyone else enjoyed themselves (and also feel awful).

Neither approach worked. But I eventually figured out a third option that actually does.

The Holiday Food Reality

Let's be honest about what happens during the holidays:

Traditional holiday meals are centered around foods that don't serve your health. Rich, heavy dishes loaded with butter, cream, cheese, and meat. Desserts at every turn. Alcohol flowing freely. And everything happening in rapid succession—Thanksgiving leads to Christmas parties leads to New Year's celebrations.

Plus, there's this cultural expectation that the holidays are when you're "supposed to" indulge. That it's somehow rude or uptight to eat differently than everyone else during this special time.

Add in the fact that you're likely stressed, busy, and surrounded by family dynamics that may not be entirely relaxing, and you have a perfect storm for abandoning your healthy habits.

What Doesn't Work

Before I tell you what does work, let me save you some trouble by sharing what doesn't:

The "I'll just be perfect" approach: Deciding you'll stick to your plan 100% and refusing to budge. This usually ends in either breaking down and bingeing, or successfully maintaining your diet while being miserable and isolated the whole time.

The "I'll make up for it later" approach: Giving yourself permission to eat whatever during the holidays with a vague plan to "get back on track" in January. This usually turns weeks of indulgence into feeling terrible and having to start over from scratch.

The "I'll skip meals to save calories" approach: Not eating much during the day so you can "afford" the big holiday meal. This leaves you ravenous and primes you to overeat everything in sight.

The "I'll avoid all gatherings" approach: Just staying home so you don't have to deal with it. This works for avoiding food temptation but creates isolation and sadness, which isn't exactly healthy either.

There has to be a better way. And there is.

Strategy 1: The Contribution Method

One of the most effective strategies is simple: bring food you can eat.

Not as a backup plan. As a legitimate contribution to the meal that you're excited about.

This does several things:

• Ensures you have at least one substantial dish you can fill up on

• Introduces others to healthy food that actually tastes good

• Removes the awkwardness of having nothing to eat

• Shows people that your way of eating isn't restrictive or weird

The key is bringing something that looks and tastes appealing to everyone—not "health food" that screams "I'm on a diet."

Some ideas:

• A hearty, flavorful soup that could be a meal on its own

• A substantial salad with roasted potatoes or other filling components

• A vegetable dish that's so good even the non-health-conscious people will want it

• A starch-based side that complements the meal

Make enough that there's plenty for you to eat as a main dish, not just a small side portion.

Strategy 2: The Strategic Eating Plan

Eat before you go. This sounds counterintuitive, but hear me out. If you show up to a gathering truly hungry, you're going to be making food decisions from a place of desperation.

Instead, eat a substantial meal of your normal healthy food before you leave. A big bowl of rice and beans, a loaded baked potato, whatever fills you up.

Then at the gathering, you can:

• Enjoy small portions of foods you want to try

• Not feel deprived or desperate

• Make clearer decisions about what's worth eating and what isn't

• Actually socialize instead of obsessing over food

You're not starving yourself—you're ensuring you're well-fed with food that makes you feel good, so you can relax and enjoy the social part of the gathering.

Strategy 3: The Plate Method

If you're going to eat at the gathering, build your plate strategically:

Fill half your plate with vegetables—salad, roasted vegetables, anything that's plant-based and not swimming in butter or oil.

Add a starch if there's a healthier option—plain baked potatoes, rice, rolls without butter.

Take small portions of the foods you genuinely want to try. Not everything on the table. Just the things that feel worth it to you.

Skip the things you don't care about. Just because it's there doesn't mean you need to eat it. If you're not excited about it, leave room for what you actually want.

This approach lets you participate in the meal without filling up on foods that will make you feel terrible.

Strategy 4: The Social Focus Shift

Here's something that changed everything for me: I stopped making food the focal point of the gathering.

I know, easier said than done. But think about it—what are you actually there for? The food, or the people?

When I shifted my focus to conversations, playing with kids, helping in the kitchen (with non-food tasks), or just being present with family, the food became less important.

Some practical ways to do this:

• Sit away from the food once you've served yourself

• Volunteer for activities that keep you busy (setting up games, taking photos, cleaning up)

• Start meaningful conversations with people you rarely see

• Focus on connecting rather than eating

When you're genuinely engaged with people, you're not thinking about food nearly as much.

Strategy 5: The Scripts That Actually Work

You're going to get questions and comments. Here's how to handle them without being preachy or defensive:

"Why aren't you eating [food]?" "I'm actually pretty full from the [healthy dish you brought]. But this all looks great!"

"Just have a little bit, it won't hurt you!" "I appreciate it, but I'm really satisfied with what I have. Thanks though!"

"You're being too strict. It's the holidays!" "I'm not being strict—I genuinely feel better eating this way. But you enjoy!"

"Where do you get your protein?" (because this always comes up) "From the same place elephants and gorillas do—plants! I get plenty, but I appreciate you checking."

The key with all of these is to be friendly, confident, and not engage in debate. Short, light responses that shut down the conversation quickly without creating tension.

Strategy 6: The Day-After Plan

Here's where a lot of people struggle: the day after the holiday meal.

Don't use one meal (or even one day) as an excuse to abandon everything. The people who succeed are the ones who get right back to their normal eating the very next meal.

Not next Monday. Not next month. The next meal.

Had a big Thanksgiving dinner? Eat your normal breakfast the next day. Had Christmas cookies at a party? Your regular lunch is still your regular lunch.

One meal doesn't undo everything. But using one meal as permission to eat badly for weeks? That's what creates problems.

What About Desserts?

Desserts are tricky because they're often the emotional centerpiece of holiday gatherings. Grandma's famous pie. The special cookies someone only makes once a year.

Here are your options:

Option 1: Bring a healthy dessert you're excited about. Date-based treats, fruit-based desserts, or other naturally sweet options can satisfy your sweet tooth without derailing everything.

Option 2: Have a small portion of the traditional dessert if it's truly special to you. Not every dessert on the table—just the one that matters.

Option 3: Skip dessert entirely and have something sweet when you get home. This works well if the desserts at the gathering aren't particularly special to you.

The key question: Is this dessert special enough to be worth how I'll feel afterward?

Sometimes the answer is yes. Often, it's no.

Managing Expectations

Let's be realistic: the holidays are probably not when you're going to see your best health progress. And that's okay.

The goal isn't perfection. The goal is to get through the season without completely derailing yourself, so you don't have to start over from scratch in January.

If you maintain your healthy eating 80% of the time during the holidays and make conscious choices the other 20%, you're winning. You're not going backward, and you're not making yourself miserable.

The Long Game

Remember why you're doing this. You're not eating this way to punish yourself or to be "good." You're doing it because it makes you feel better, healthier, more energetic.

The holidays are a few weeks out of the year. Don't let a few weeks undo months of progress.

But also—don't let the fear of undoing progress keep you from enjoying time with people you love.

Balance isn't about perfect adherence. It's about making conscious choices that honor both your health and your life.

The Bottom Line

You don't have to choose between enjoying the holidays and maintaining your health. You can do both—it just requires some strategy and planning.

Bring food you can eat. Eat before you go. Focus on people over food. Have responses ready for questions. And get right back to your normal routine the very next meal.

The holidays don't have to be a disaster for your health. They can be exactly what they're supposed to be: time with people you care about, with food as a pleasant backdrop rather than the main event.

Heading into holiday season? Plan ahead. Decide what matters to you, what doesn't, and how you'll handle the situations you know are coming. You've got this.